Friday, 23 September 2011

The End of the Affair

Okay, I admit it. I have been having an affair.

I never thought I was capable of that kind of behaviour but it sort of just happened, and before I knew it, I was completely swept off my feet.

At first my husband was oblivious to the situation but it was the little changes in my behaviour that alerted him to the fact. Suddenly I was in a good mood all the time. Nothing bothered me. I felt good and I looked good because I was singing on the inside.

And then there were the trips away. A few days here, a week there. All in the guise of business.

The thing is, I have lived the last five years in limbo, torn between a life I know and another life that fills me with joy and possibilities.

You may be wondering how my husband dealt with it. Well, in a strange way he benefitted from my affair and so he chose to ignore it in the hope that one day it would come to an end.

You see, my affair was not with another person. It was with a place.

I have written about Mallorca before. About going there after an absence of seventeen years and feeling like I had come home.

I feel a special kind of happiness and contentment deep within when I am there. Something that I haven't felt anywhere else.

But last October we went to Florida after an absence of five years, and as I looked around at my family's happy faces, it dawned on me that this was their ideal holiday spot.

They had supported me over the years and enjoyed Mallorca, but here in Florida I could practically hear their hearts singing in their chests and I knew that enough was enough. It was time to cut the strings.

And so, we didn't go to Mallorca this year. We went to Tenerife. The apartment was lovely, the pool quiet, the weather hot, the food good. All the ingredients for a perfect holiday.

Only, it wasn't Mallorca. Or Florida. And try as we might, I didn't hear anyone's hearts singing or even mildly humming.

And yet, I sat there with no yearnings for Mallorca. Yes, we'll go back again sometime but that all consuming passion is gone. I am finally over the affair.

Florida, on the other hand, is calling from somewhere deep within. A slight longing for the golf, the shopping, the people. The parks, the rodeo, the margarita 2 for 1 happy hours. Ruby Tuesdays, The Steak 'n' Ale, BJ's.

Mmmm. I'm beginning to sing just thinking about it.

Only this time I won't be alone in my infatuation.           


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