April Auditions

"Be our guest, be our guest, put our service to the test...."

March 18th  It's the pre-audition meeting for Balerno Theatre Company and we are learning the song and dance for the forthcoming auditions. This year's panto is Bonnie and The Beast (a Scottish version of Beauty and The Beast). The song presents no problems because it's one of my favourite numbers in the film, albeit with a change to the lyrics.

"No-one's ever been the wiser drinking Irn Bru and Tizer...."

The dance is a different game altogether. The youngsters pick it up first time whilst we 'slightly more mature' folk take a little longer to drum the choreography into our head.

For the next fortnight the song is going round my head constantly. I go to bed at night and can't sleep for running the dance over and over again in my mind. I wake up in the morning and the song is still there. I'm driving my family nuts with the constant repetition. My 10 year old son is word perfect and prompts me every time I forget the words.

Closer to audition day I realise that I will be auditioning on my birthday. It's tradition in our family that the birthday person wear the birthday hat, and for once this turns out to be fortuitous as it occurs to me that the hat looks like a cake with candles on top. I have found a prop for the dance!

March 30th. I turn up for the auditions hat in hand and the nerves and adrenaline kick in. I'm past the "Why am I doing this to myself?" as this is my fourth year in the company, but it doesn't make it any easier. In fact, I think it becomes more difficult because I expect more from myself. I have started to push myself.

This year I have taken on the onerous and almighty task of Producer so I haven't put my name down for a principal part, reckoning that the role of Producer will be big enough to cope with. I start to sing. I still want to do my best even though I'm not after a role. The nerves were there but I enjoyed it and we had fun running through the acting scenes.

The following day I get a phonecall to say I have a callback. What? Wait a minute! That's not in the plan.

April 1st (April Fools Day)  Callbacks. We turn up and are given a completely new song that no one has ever heard of, and one by one we are put on the spot as we are asked to perform it to the group. Followed by more acting.

April 2nd  The phone goes. Audrey the director is on the line and starts the conversation with "Mrs Potts, I presume!" I am speechless. Then I panic.

"How the h*** can I be producer and take on a big role like that? It is a big role, isn't it?

"Huge!" says Audrey with a giggle. "But you'll manage!"

They say if you want something done, ask a busy person. Call me. I'm open for business!

What's your song?

I was watching the rerun of WALL.E with my son the other day and spent the rest of the day singing the songs from Hello Dolly that form the soundtrack to much of the movie.

How many times do you listen to the radio in the car or leave the house in the morning and end up having the last song you heard play over, and over, and over, and over, in your mind.

I have always been interested in music and can map out the events of my life by song. My ipod library is pretty eclectic these days, and I love it that so many songs of my youth have now been released as MP3s.

So, my question to you is? What would the soundtrack to your life be? If you could pick one or two songs that give you the oomph factor, what would they be?

I have three songs running at the moment which I call on at different times to give me the push I need.

When I need extra kick ass confidence, it's always Jennifer Lopez's Ain't It Funny Remix.

Some people find this a strange choice, but it's more to do with her "nobody messes with me" sassy attitude in the vid than to do with the message in the song. That beat in my head makes me walk down the road with my head held high, my shoulders back, looking as if I have a great secret that nobody will ever know but everyone would love to find out.

When I'm in need of inner confidence, it has to be Joe Cocker's You Are So Beautiful. It's a message to myself that I can do and be anything I choose, if I just believe in myself.

And where would I be without Barbra Streisand's "Before The Parade Passes By".  The message in the song and the build up in tempo from the start makes me feel like going out and conquering the world. For too long I held myself back, but not anymore.

So what's your song? What would make you get out of bed in the morning and have a really good day? What would give you drive and determination? What truly inspires you?

Let me know.

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

I used to have an identity. I used to be someone. I was the one everyone wanted to talk to at parties. I was glamour personified. I was fun and perceived to be maybe just a little naughty. I was ... an air hostess.

In those days, the place names of Rio, Johannesburg, Nairobi, Caracas, Vancouver, Sydney, New York, Bangkok and Hong Kong tripped off my tongue. I jumped on and off planes like most people jump on the number 44 bus.


And then one day I hung up my uniform and became normal. I had a normal job, a normal life and I holidayed in Florida.

Ten years later and many several pounds heavier, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw someone else.

I saw a beige person. I was dressed in beige. What had happened to the brightly coloured clothes I had amassed from all over the world? My hair was beige where once it was fiery red, dirty blond or rich mahogany, depending on the whim of the moment. My life was beige. I had turned into a mum, a wife and a drudge.


Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mum. I love the chat at the school gates. I love the sense of community. And most of all, I love the love that comes from that little person. The smile that melts your heart. The chubby arms wound tightly around your neck.

But something was missing. I needed colour, I needed life. I needed to find the old me.

I took stock of my life. I was working in my husband’s business, living his dream, not mine. I was living in a place I hated, which made my heart heavy every time I drove into the village limits. I had lost my enthusiasm, my sense of adventure and worst of all, my self confidence.

They say that inside every old woman there is a young girl wondering what the hell happened. That was exactly how I was feeling , and I’d only just turned forty!

Little by little, I turned my life around. I retrained in Reiki and began helping others. We moved away from that ugly village where, if you weren’t born there, you were an “incomer”, an outcast, a social pariah. We moved to a vibrant village, full of like-minded people, community spirit and fun.

Then I met Paul McKenna at a seminar and my life changed for the better. I lost weight using his system. I decided to train as a hypnotherapist.


And I auditioned for the local theatre company. I was a closet karaoke queen. I had never sung in front of anyone in my life and suddenly I found myself standing in front of a panel of four with nowhere to hide. I opened my mouth, took a deep breath and sang louder than I had ever done in my life.

“The sun will come out tomorrow...”

And I knew that the sun would come out.

That if I was stuck with a day that was grey and lonely, I’d stick out my chin and grin and say “tomorrow’s only a day away”.

The World According To Rocky Balboa

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

Now, if you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him, or her. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that. And until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life!"

Rocky Balboa 2008