Breathe

"We're all going to die. We don't get much say over how or when. But we do get to decide how we're going to live.

So do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate?

Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out. And decide."

- extract from Grey's Anatomy

I'm FINE

Definition of Fine: F**ked Up. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.

I have realised that for most of my life I have been striving for perfection and have been constantly disappointed. I live in a world of 'it will be better when....' but even when 'when' comes over the horizon I have already moved on. I have spent my life telling people, and myself, that I am FINE, whilst thinking that fine wasn't a great state to be in.

Until now. Because by accepting that f***ed up, insecure, neurotic and emotional is good enough, I feel a weight coming off me.

I'm human!

Back to the future

You may have noticed I haven't posted in a while - a long while in fact. This wasn't a conscious decision, but rather a change in circumstances which took me down a different path and disconnected me from my road less travelled. At the height of my blogging my unconscious mind was continually feeding me new titles and new content that I couldn't wait to share. Suddenly I had rejoined the old path where the road felt long and weary and the overgrowth cut out the light.

But enough is enough. The universe is conspiring once again to push me towards the light of my own path and I'm feeling inspired. I'm lacing up my boots, gripping my walking poles and stepping back to the future with new insights and new learnings.

It's good to be back.

Who am I?

I am your greatest companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onwards or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well as turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I am Habit.